Tuesday 18 December 2012

HOW UHURU DUPED MUDAVADI ..comedy

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Someone has been crying foul on the political kindergaten scene. Deals gone sour, promises broken and what not. Well, this is what I think did not happen between MM and UK during that meeting to entice MM to get into the coalition.

UK: Habari Madam
MM: Poa.
UK: Haki si wewe ni mrembo
MM: Haki unanidanganya
UK: True of God
MM: Kweli? Wamaume mnakuanga na uwongo sana
UK: Si uwongo. Ni ukweli mtupu. Na nataka twende kwangu
MM: Ai? Tukafanye?
UK: Si unajua.
MM: Najua nini?
UK: Wewe ni msichana mrembo na mature. Unaelewa.
MM: Wee, mimi sitaki hizo story
UK: Nitaingiza kichwa tu.
MM: Hivyo ndivyo mnasemanga. Wanaume nawajua.
UK: Mimi si ka hao wengine
MM: Na ukinidanganya?
UK: If I cheat, I hate God
MM: Kwanza hata hujaninunulia drink. Ebu nunua.
UK: Drink? Drink pekee. Mimi nakununulia EABL yote ukikubali tuende kwangu
MM: Wacha uwongo. Pesa utoe wapi hizo zote.
UK: Angalia noti zote za hii country my dear. Hio ni picha ya mbuyu. Pesa sio shida
MM: (To herself) *Hapa nime conquer* But niko na doubts
UK: Nitakupatia gari yangu actually uende nayo asubuhi alafu uniletee next week
MM: Ai? Na wewe utatumia nini?
UK: Nitatumia ya Willi.am R.
MM: Ok, sawa. Na umesema tu kichwa, sawa?
UK: Wee usijali

------------- Later that night ---------------------

MM: Jehovah! Hiyo yote ni kichwa?
UK: Ai, nyamaza. Najua chenye nafanya! Ni kichwa kubwa.
MM: Waaa! Sipendi vile hii story inaenda. Hiyo sio kichwa pekee.
UK: Kwani wewe ni wapi? Kaa vizuri. Si nakupatia gari asubuhu? Hutembei.
MM: Ai? Ngai. No. No. Noooo. Nooooooo (turns into moans) ... Noooo ... Yes. GOSH! OMG! Aaaah.

----------- Next Day at Five -----------------

UK: Wee, hebu amka
MM: Saa hii?
UK: Amka! Mathee amesema anakam na siwezi taka akupate hapa
MM: Na gari? Ninaenda nayo?
UK: Una kichaa wewe?
MM: Ulisema .... 
(SLAP)
UK: Nimekwambia utoke! Unasikiza pombe ikiongea halafu unaleta kisirani asubuhi. Toka!
MM: Nataka haki ya...
(SLAP)
UK: Nimesema utoke, kwani huna maskio?

------------ Later ----------------------
MM: Aliniambia ni kichwa tu, baadaye ikakuwa ati nikule miwa yote. Sasa
nitakaa hapa mpaka anilitee gari na title deed ya EABL
World: LOL. Silly bitch. Ulikuwa chipo
MM: Mimi siwezi kuwa chipo! Naita press conference!

And there you have it. At least that's what I imagine happened. Or what do you think happened?

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